Italian singles: how to find a boyfriend or husband
Meeting real Italian singles
Are you looking to date Italian singles but can't you find any? It all depends on what you mean by "Italian". The real meaning is an Italian citizen who lives in Italy and speaks Italian. Curiously, some American people consider themselves "Italian" even though they have never lived in Italy and they don't speak Italian; however, they probably have an Italian great-great-grandfather or grandmother, in which case it would be more correct to say they have an Italian ancestor (not that they are "Italian"). In Italy, almost everyone, apart from immigrants, is 100% Italian: DNA tests, including mine, show that our ancestors lived in the peninsula currently known as Italy, which used to be the heart of the Roman Empire. Yes, Julius Caesar was one of us. Therefore, if you want to date real Italian singles, you have no choice but to travel to Italy.
Dating in Italy: guide and tips
It should be noted that things become a bit more complicated when it comes to dating real Italian singles, because American and British singles tend to assess the situation through their own culture. In fact, Italians don't have the concept of "dating". In Italy, you can say you are (or are not) in a relationship, but you can't say you are "dating" someone — let alone dating more than one person. Italians don't "date", except for teenagers; they want a relationship instead, possibly a long-term one, or marriage.
Italian singles meet through their friends, relatives or colleagues and then decide to start a relationship if they are both interested, whereas in the US — but also in Canada, United Kingdom, Australia etc. — dating usually precedes a relationship proper and some people "date" as many people as possible until they find one they like. This mentality would be a major problem in Italy instead: dating many people does not belong to Italian customs or etiquette, which is why it is frowned upon and considered inappropriate behavior. Basically, it is a great way to rock the boat right away. If you want to pique a person's interest, you should show interest in the first place, and considering going on a date with someone else is an immediate deal-breaker. Moreover, there are no specific places where Italian singles meet. They may exist in other countries, but not in Italy. Actually, this means that any place in Italy can be a good one, as long as you are fluent in Italian and you can easily befriends other singles.
In the picture: a couple is getting married on Juliet's balcony in Verona, Italy. Not even William Shakespeare imagined this could be real.
Online dating: apps and websites
If you don't have enough money to travel to Italy, or you don't have a passport and/or an Italian visa, you could try to find Italian singles online using an app or a website such as Tinder, Bumble, Facebook dating and so on — and by setting Italy, Rome, Florence, Amalfi and Positano, Venice, Milan or whatever as your favorite place or even your hometown. Actually, this is not a good idea, because online dating is not very common in Italy, and dating apps and websites are not as popular as they are in the US. Italians usually prefer to meet other singles in real life without dating apps or websites, which are considered ineffective due to the massive amount of fake profiles, sex workers looking for money etc. Also, dating apps and websites need to retain as many customers as possible, because if everyone found a partner, nobody would use the app or the website anymore — a basic marketing principle.
Quick review of dating apps and websites for Italians and Americans in Italy
We are now ready for the hard truth about online dating in Italy.
- Mostly used by sex workers; plenty of inactive or unverified fake profiles. It might occasionally work for hookups; on the whole, it is considered a "hook-up app". Avoid it like the plague if you are seeking a boyfriend or husband, that is to say if you want a serious long-term relationship, or marriage.
Rating: 1 (out of 5) ⭐
- No sex workers, but few Italian users; some of them are verified though. Inactive profiles tend to be excluded by the system. It might work for hookups but it might also work if you are looking for a long-term relationship or even marriage. Anyway, it doesn't have many fake or inactive profiles, so it is not as horrible as Tinder.
Rating: 3 (out of 5) ⭐⭐⭐
- Not popular; plenty of inactive or abandoned accounts. Italian people are being replaced with accounts from Africa and Asia. Same company as Tinder, and it shows.
Rating: 1 (out of 5) ⭐
- Other apps: Hinge, Happn etc.
- Not popular, practically unknown, very few real users, too many fake or abandoned profiles.
Rating: 1 (out of 5) ⭐
- Badoo (website and app)
- Millions of profiles, but more than 90% are fake or from Eastern Europe. The remaining 10% are Italian users, but not necessarily in your area and/or active. It may also become expensive, just to have a chat with a person. Unlikely to work for hookups, let alone for long-term relationships. Same company as Bumble, but Badoo is much worse.
Rating: 1 (out of 5) ⭐
- match.com, meetic.it, eharmony.com
- Not popular, few Italian users, usually expensive on a monthly basis, lots of fake and inactive profiles. Not recommended. They may work in the US, but not in Italy.
Rating: 1 (out of 5) ⭐
- rosebrides.com (Rose brides), italianosingles.com (Italiano singles)
- Fake profiles, total scam.
Rating: 1 (out of 5) ⭐ simply because it is not possible to give 0.
In light of this, Bumble is the only dating app that I still use in Italy.
Famous couples who chose Italy for their wedding
The iconic Italian dolce vita (literally: sweet life) is everyone's dream, because Italy is one of the most beautiful countries in the world and the one with the highest number of Unesco world heritage sites, despite its small land area. This is why several famous couples decide to get married, or renew their wedding vows, in fabulous Italian locations and live out the dream of an unforgettable gorgeous Italian wedding: George Clooney and Amal in Venice, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West in Florence, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes in a castle not far from my house in the Rome area, just to name a few — divorces don't count 😛 I also came across this interesting Vogue article about Bumble CEO Whitney Wolfe's wedding on the Amalfi coast, a place that I know very well. That being said, if you travel to Italy to meet other Italian singles, in my opinion you have nothing to lose: even if you don't find your significant other, you will enjoy the extraordinary beauty that Italy offers.
Why are Italian men so hot and the best lovers?
Firstly, we should start from the concept of "Latin lover". Don't confuse "Latin", i.e. from a European country where Latin was spoken, with the newer English adjective "Latino", i.e. from Latin America. According to Wikipedia, "a Latin lover is a stereotypical stock character, part of the Hollywood star system." Although this definition may be partially correct, it is definitely incomplete, because it takes into account only the cinematic world. Had the editors been familiar with Italian culture, or more generally with southern European or Mediterranean culture, they could have seen the big picture. A Latin lover is not an invention of Hollywood; on the contrary, it is a lifestyle, chiefly in Italy. Wikipedia editors only talk about Hollywood simply because they have only seen Latin lovers in movies; their list of Latin lovers includes Rodolfo Valentino (Italian, the first one), Charles Boyer (French), Tyrone Power (who got married in Rome), Marcello Mastroianni (Italian), Robert Redford (who lived in Spain and Italy), Al Pacino (Italian parents), Alain Delon (French), Sylvester Stallone (Italian father, French mother), John Travolta (Italian father), Antonio Banderas (Spanish), Julio Iglesias and his son Enrique (Spanish). We see that all these people, who make up the majority of "Latin lovers" — at least according to Wikipedia — have to do with Southern Europe or Italy. Generally speaking, most Italian men, but also most Spanish men and French men, are considered Latin lovers: through their charming attitude, they excel in wooing and seducing women. And if they are handsome, then all the better. But the original question was "why?": the answer is culture, mentality and genetics.
The concept of Latin lover is often confused with Casanova. According to Wikipedia, Casanova "was an Italian adventurer and author from the Republic of Venice. […] He has become so famous for his often complicated and elaborate affairs with women that his name is now synonymous with womanizer." Also, according to the American Merriam-Webster dictionary, Casanova is "(Entry 1 of 2) a man known for seducing women and having many lovers. Example: «Women were terribly charmed by him; a veritable Casanova, he had five wives and literally dozens of mistresses.» (Entry 2 of 2) biographical name: Giacomo Casanova 1725–1798 Italian adventurer and memoirist." So, to recap, "womanizer", "five wives and dozens of mistresses", "adventurer" etc. Giovanni Giacomo Casanova, who lived in the eighteenth century — when Italy didn't even exist — may have been a "womanizer". But it doesn't mean that every Italian is a womanizer! However, it seems that some women can't grasp this simple concept.
The reality is there are many honest Italian men looking for love and willing to give their love to one woman; if you don't look for them, you will never find them.
Finding a boyfriend or a husband in Italy
Once you find an Italian boyfriend, you could invite him to your hometown if you are having trouble staying in Italy — due to visas, money, culture shock, bureaucracy, documents, you name it. Besides, many Italian men are willing to move, as long as they can work remotely or can find a new job. It is a great opportunity to get to know each other and determine whether your man can also become your husband. You could travel with him to other European countries too — Paris/France, Madrid/Barcelona/Spain, London/England and many more.
As far as I am concerned, I am a (straight) man, so I can speak from the point of view of a well-traveled Italian bachelor: I know very well that American, British, Irish and Australian women love Italy and would love to find an Italian boyfriend or husband. Therefore, let me introduce myself: read the "contact me" section at the bottom of the page! 😉
You know you are dating an Italian man when you realize his mother will always come first
Unfortunately, the cliché about "Italian men who will only love their mothers" seems to be very popular among American, Canadian and British women. First of all, it can be offensive, because if you are not talking to a little boy or a young adult, his mother might have died. That being said, I know hundreds (literally) of Italian men, and I see men who sill have a strong concept of "family" — which belongs to Italian culture and also includes their mothers — as well as men who don't care about their parents anymore — which is sad in my opinion, but legitimate. Either way, it is not true that if a man is engaged or married, his mother will be more important or will always come first. Mind you, we are talking about engaged or married men. It goes without saying that if you had a one-night stand with an Italian man, or if you guys are friends with benefits, you can't expect to be "more important than his mother" (or his father), especially in a culture where family is that central. On the whole, non-Italian women who didn't manage to have a good relationship with his Italian family, or who decided to divorce their Italian husband, tend to blame other people — his mother in the first place. The most sensible thing to do is searching for answers inside yourself instead, which is not easy if you haven't been trained to work on yourself. Therefore, if you are determined and you know what you want, travel to Italy and get a man who loves you. Don't let stereotypes, misconceptions or other women's failures stop you. Don't wait for an Italian man to attract you: you can actually attract many Italian men. Grab the chance and you won't regret it, but remember: it also depends on you, not only on him (let alone his parents).
Some American or British women also think that Southern Italian guys are the best lovers but they are also more attached to their mother in comparison to Italian man from the North. None of that is true. For example, Raoul Bova is probably the most famous Italian male sex symbol at the moment and arguably the best lover in bed, but he is not from the South and is not a mama's boy. Look up Raoul Bova if you don't know who he is or what he looks like.
Italian men say "I love you" to every woman they meet
This could be yet another cliché, but I consider it fake news proper, so I won't waste my time debunking it or refuting it. I suggest you watch this video.
Final summary: what is like dating an Italian
Pros of dating an Italian
Dating an Italian man is fun and will give you the opportunity to discover a country rich in
- amazing ancient history (greatest number of UNESCO world heritage sites),
- world-famous excellent cuisine,
- magnificent art,
- thousands of picturesque locations,
- great music,
- stunning fashion shows,
- temperate Mediterranean climate,
- people who value their families and traditions,
- other important European cities are very close (Paris, Madrid, Vienna, Barcelona, Athens, Berlin, London etc.),
- and much more, you just have to unleash your imagination.
It is no accident that many celebrities and wealthy people choose to live in Italy too: rich Italian cities, towns and places for rich people.
Pros of marrying an Italian
This section is going to be a bit more pragmatic:
- you don't need a visa to stay in Italy,
- you can get Italian citizenship by marriage,
- you can get your own Italian passport that is also a EU passport, arguably the best in the world.
Obviously, the last two perks are irrelevant if you are already a EU citizen.
Cons of dating an Italian
Dating an Italian man is not recommended if
- you hate the Italian language,
- you don't want to befriend your man's family and closest friends,
- you don't like pizza or ice cream,
- you don't like a relaxed lifestyle,
- you believe that all Italians belong to the mafia,
- you think that Rome was built in a day.
My name is Giuseppe, which is the most popular Italian name (Joseph/Joe in English). I was born and raised in Rome, Italy, but I am now a resident in the Caribbean. It doesn't mean I stay there all the time: I only prefer the summer (which is winter in the northern hemisphere). I studied at LUMSA (Rome) and MIT (Boston, MA). I mostly work in New York City (Manhattan) with short stays in the US Virgin Islands (my favorite islands), California (San Francisco Bay, Atherton, Santa Barbara, Los Angeles/Beverly Hills, Santa Monica, Orange County, Huntington Beach, Newport Beach), Washington (Seattle), Texas (Dallas, Austin, Houston), Massachusetts (Boston), Florida (Miami, Palm Beach, Tampa, Orlando), Colorado (Aspen), Utah (Park City), United Kingdom (London), France (Paris), Principality of Monaco (Monte Carlo), Switzerland (Zurich, Berne, Geneva, Lugano, Ticino), Vatican City, Spain (Madrid, Barcelona), UAE (Dubai), Singapore, Japan (Tokyo) — see also my locations — though I always love to work remotely from a Caribbean island or the countryside of Italy: a true paradise without cars or traffic! My favorite places in Italy — not necessarily in that order — are Capri, Amalfi, Positano, Sicily, Rome, Florence, Tuscany, Milan, Venice.
Besides, I often visit my family in Italy, where I own property. I am 40 years old, single, I don't have kids — but I love them — and I have never been married.
If you want to get to know me, I look forward to hearing from you: write me a message explaining why you want to get to know me.
Alternatively, you can message me on Pinterest, if you have an account. I don't respond to empty profiles though.
Unlike most dating websites and apps, contacting me is actually free, but it doesn't mean that I have time to waste: I want to meet a potential partner and I don't need to chitchat with random people online. I prefer a determined and goal-oriented woman, who knows what she wants! Whatever you decide, good luck with your search.